the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
