You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
