Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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