you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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