i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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