i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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