Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize