it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
