Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
