i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
