Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
