friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
