Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she told me i tasted like america
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
