Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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