they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
