She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
