come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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