You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
