I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
