I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
