I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
