Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
