My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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