its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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