Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
