I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
