he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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