I'm so fucking centered right now
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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