whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
