You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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