I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
