Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize