I CAN MOONWALK!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
