I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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