I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
