There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Hippo gnu deer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
