nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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