i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
