is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
