9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
