And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize