fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
