You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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