Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
should my penis look like a turkey
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
