My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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