I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
