They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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