it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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