We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
