How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
