Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
