He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
