Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
