I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the day after is always just damage control
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
