All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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