Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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