Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it hurts more in the daytime
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
