hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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