it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
